I'm Just So Sensitive
Or so this test says
When I was pregnant with my daughter in 1992, I knew I wantd to name her Delena, despite my son Josh angling for “Trixie.” I was stuck on the middle name because I loved the name “Katherine” and I liked how the name “Alexis” married up to the Delena part. I decided not to fight with myself and named her Delena Alexis Katherine.
When she was around three years old, if anyone asked her why her name was so long, she would reply, “Because when I was a child, I was very sensitive.”
Yes, word for word, that is what she said. At three. Well, kiddo, I guess it runs in the family.
Back in 2019, I ordered a test from this company and I got the results back om August 24, 2019. The purpose of the test is to evaluate my personal me for sensitivities to foods and metals and to check my levels of vitamins and minerals.
I ordered the test with a deep discount and did not pay nearly what the website now indicates it costs:
https://us.checkmybodyhealth.com/products/complete-sensitivity-health-test
There is, in fact, a Groupon offer for it:
https://www.groupon.com/deals/simply-sensitvity-checks
The misspelling in the url is not my mistyping, although I can certainly high-five over why that idea might cross your mind. I used to be a somewhat successful medical transcriptionist and could type around 140 words per minute with almost no errors. Now, I am lucky to make it through one sentence without using my erase button multiple times. It’s like my fingers are suddenly dyslexic.
Anyway, back to the sensitivity test. It was a hair test, so all I had to do was send in a hair sample - which they were quite competent at telling me exactly how to collect - and wait for the results.
As you read over these results from long ago, it might add flavor to your evaluation to know that my palate is fairly limited. There are many (many) things that ordinary people eat that I don’t eat. My ex-husband used to say I wouldn’t eat anything I don’t recognize and then I’d hunt for a hair in it. My mother just said I was a picky eater and when I think about it, it’s a wonder I’m so fat when I like so few foods. It’s probably because the foods I like are not okra and kale and pickled eggs and such.
The test results tell you to what foods your body is highly reactive. I do not eat mutton or lamb. I do not eat wheatgrass (or other grasses). No water chestnuts, spelt, or veal (no baby animals). No sweetbreads, which is a stupid name for cooked pancreas and should be reserved for pastries. I do not know what Freekeh or Kamut is and don’t really need to know because hey, it’s on the list. I though Farro was a card game, but Google AI tells me that it’s spelled Faro and that Farro is a “protein-rich ancient grain.” Alrighty, then. Guess I will lay off the ancient grains just to be safe.
I can forego the cod liver oil I’m not taking and I am not a fan of black beans. I outgrew fish sticks somewhere around 1980 or so. Everything else on this list is fairly heart-breaking (apples? really?) and so I will probably drop dead from eating them almost every day.
Getting on down to the things to which I am moderately reactive:
Almost everything on here I could do without except chicken. I eat an insane amount of chickens. I am not a huge fan of cheese except when it is melted onto other things like pizza. Parmesan, for reasons I cannot explain, tastes like vomit to me and although - of course - it is not on the list, cilantro tastes like dish soap. Ice cream makes me phlegmy, as does anything made with heavy cream (like Italian foods with Alfredo sauce). A life without butter would leave me with little reason to live. I do not enjoy anything cultured (there is a pun there, I am sure), so buttermilk, sour cream, and yogurt are not going to happen. I don’t eat anything that is a spoiled or fermented form of something else.
My mother, however, used to fill a large plastic glass with stale cornbread, then dump buttermilk and sugar over it and eat that mess with a spoon. Mind you, she would also pour a half bottle of Karo syrup onto a plate, add about a half cup of peanut butter, stir it all up together and sop it up with a half loaf of white bread. You can see that she employed a lot of “half” measures in there, probably because she was on a diet.
Maize? Isn’t that just corn?
Some of my resistance to certain foods is less from the taste and more about the feel, like cucumbers. *fully convulsive body shiver*
I rarely drink milk, only when eating chili con carne, and I do not drink alcohol, so I’m good on those.
Fortunately, I do not have much contact with Bermuda grass, horse bot fly, or stinging nettle. Bees are not much fun, so we do not hang out and to my knowledge, I have never had a bad reaction after taking Penicillin. I work with wormwood when making Four Thieves Vinegar and it makes me gag every time. I am not a fan of maple syrup. I love maple donuts and bars but I doubt actual maple has ever been anywhere near those.
Strawberries? I rarely meet a strawberry I do not love and one of my best friends is named Dahlia.
Interestingly enough, around this time, I was having some intense fatigue and my medical care provider ran labs and determined that I was seriously low on potassium. I have taken a supplement ever since. I am mildly reactive to the growing irritation I feel when something validates this information.
I have also been chronically low on B and C vitamins as well, so this tracks.
I don’t know what I expected to learn when I ran this test. I guess I thought it would be something like, “Oh, so this is why I don’t like asparagus.” Instead, it told me I should live on beef, lettuce, tofu, and oatmeal.
What it apparently doesn’t test for is sugar, one of the most toxic foods we can eat.
If you are interested in seeing the full report, it is here: https://clientsuitecontent.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/report/pdf/eed6f548-71c4-4b7a-a15b-f0245496e415/CMBHUSGRPYRGFCFN.pdf
It does list a huge number of foods to which I am non-reactive and are maybe three on there that I like. It says I am non-reactive to cola, Ovaltine, vodka, and some food called “winkies,” so that sounds like a fun night. News flash: Google AI has informed me that “winkies” are the inhabitants of the Western region of Oz, so I hope they like vodka.
Oh dear. Apparently, I misread. It was “winkles,” which are a kind of snail. I think I’d rather eat a cucumber.