Just How Old Are You?
The Statler Brothers Test
My mother had the following album by the Statler Brothers and this song was on it, although it originally released on an album called Innerview. I thought it would be fun to go through all of the things from the past they mention and talk about what we do and do not remember. Here are my responses. For reference, I was born in September 1961.
Do You Remember These? by The Statler Brothers
… Saturday morning serials, chapters one through fifteen
I was around after serialized radio shows were popular. Most people listened to music, news, and ball games on the radio - often a transistor radio - when I was little. I had Saturday morning cartoons which were not usually serialized. We had some non-animated shows like The Hudson Brothers, The Banana Splits, Lancelot Link - Secret Chimp, H.R. Puffinstuff, and Lidsville. My favorite cartoons were The Pink Panther and Bugs Bunny. The funny pages of the paper were also a regular focus for us.
Fly paper
Yes, and ew.
Penny loafers
Yes, I had those and saddle oxfords and yes, I put the penny in the loafers.
Lucky Strike Green
I remember Lucky Strikes, but not green ones. My mother and father didn’t smoke, but I had aunts and uncles who did. They were devoted to Camels, Kools, and in high school, everyone, everyone, everyone (except me) smoked Marlboro Reds.
Flat tops
Yes, Biff Tannen, I remember.
Sock hops
Oh my yes, so much fun, as were Sadie Hawkins dances. I didn’t get to go to many dances growing up due to transportation issues outside of school hours, but the ones I did attend were light-hearted and enjoyable. No proms or homecomings for me, but I did get in a few random dances here and there. I remember the teachers going around and policing how close couples danced, saying, “Leave room for Jesus” as they eased bodies apart.
Studebaker
I knew they existed, but they stopped being made when I was five, so I only saw them as well-used cars and of course, Fozzi Bear’s ride.
“Pepsi, please”
Yes, and I drank Dr. Pepper at 10 and 2 and 4 as directed and at hours in between as well
… Ah, do you remember these?
So far, so good. :)
… Cigar bands on your hands
Yes! And we called the little loop on the inside back of the neck of a man’s dress shirt a “fruit loop” and if you got a guy’s fruit loop, it verifies that you made out with him. The ultimate goal was for a guy to give you his class ring to wear to confirm you were “going together” so we - or rather “they” because I didn’t have that experience, wore this forty pound giant ring on their finger with a skein of yarn wound around the back so it would stay on.
Your daddy’s socks rolled down
I never wore my daddy’s socks, so I don’t know what that was about but I had lots of white bobby socks and knee socks.
Sticks, no plugs and aviator caps, with flaps that button down
Movie stars on Dixie cup tops and knickers to your knees
I have no idea what they are talking about here. Anyone want to jump in here? I know what sticks are - the ones that come from trees - and I know about Pick-Up Sticks, which was a fun game, but the rest of it is a mystery to me. We had scooter skirts and culottes and smock tops.
… Ah, do you remember these?
Not as many from that group as the one before it!
… The Hit Parade, grape Truaide, the Sadie Hawkins dance
Yes on the Hit Parade and American Bandstand and The Old Grey Whistle Test and The Midnight Special and Casey Kasem’s Top 40 Countdown and Soul Train. My dad had issues with rock and roll music, but my mother would sneak and watch American Bandstand when he was at work on Saturdays. I remember as a high school freshman, I got an 8-track tape of Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits from a yard sale and was playing it at a low volume in my room and my dad sense a disturbance in the force and yelled, “What the hell is that racket you are playing?” No on grape truaide, but yes on Kool-Aid and Flavorade. See “sock hops” above for “Sadie Hawkins dance.”
Peddle pushers
Yes and capri pants like Laura Petrie. Saddle pants were terrible because I hated feeling straps under my feet. Body shirts were interesting to wear with their coochie snaps, but they gave a nice, sleek look.
Duck tail hair
I remember seeing that on adult men while I was little, but when I was in high school, it was either the mullet or the crew cut and almost no options in between, which was hellish for guys who were trying to grow out their crew cut into a mullet. “Business up front, party in the back.”
and peggin’ your pants
I know what this is but in my time, bell bottom jean pants dragged the floor by at least 4-6” and “high water waders” were mocked mercilessly.
Howdy Doody
I saw Howdy Doody and Clarabell the Clown in reruns. I remember Bozo, Soupy Sales, and Edgar Bergen made occasional appearances with Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd. My favorite was always Shari Lewis and Lambchop and I will confess to a significant and unrequited crush on Mr. Greenjeans from Captain Kangaroo.
Tootie Fruitie
The one I remember is Tootie Frooties which were the knock-off version of Fruit Loops, sort of like “Marshmallow Mateys.”
The seam up the back of her hose
Those were before my time BUT… I had some.
… Ah, do you remember those?
Getting warmer!
… James Dean, he was “keen”,
James Dean died six years before I was born, so I missed that wave, but I knew what “keen” meant from watching Leave it to Beaver and Ozzie and Harriet.
Sunday movies were taboo
I got nothing here.
The senior prom
I was married, had a baby, and was living on Guam when my senior prom happened and I will confess to some serious buyer’s remorse on that one night.
Judy’s mom
I wonder if this is something specific to Harold and Don Reid, who wrote the song. I have no frame of reference for this.
Rock ‘n roll was new
Rock ‘n Roll was not new but it was a rowdy, fun, thrill-seeking teenager by the time I got to it.
Cracker Jack prize
Loved those Cracker Jack prizes, but I always got the damned tattoos. I also remembered all of the cereal boxes being bowed outwards from us digging out the prize inside.
Stars in your eyes
I eventually got some of those, but it took a long time.
“ask daddy for the keys”
I did not drive until I was over 18 and living away from home, so I never once got to ask my Daddy for the keys.
… Ah, do you remember these?
… The boogie man, lemonade stand and taking your tonsils out
Indian burn and wait your turn and four foul balls you’re out!
Always scared of the boogie man, never had a lemonade stand, and I somehow managed to dodge the tonsillectomy that seemed to catch every other kid I knew. Indian burns, wedgies, and frogs in the arm were the banes of my existence.
Cigarette loads and secret codes and saving lucky stars
I once caused a guy named Larry Bledsoe to run off the road because I put a cigarette load into one of his Marlboros and put it 1-2 cigs into the pack and it went off when he was driving. No injury, but man, Larry was pissed. Not to many secret codes in Pleasant Ridge, Ky and I don’t remember anything about saving lucky stars, but I saved the hell out of cereal box tops, Top Value Stamps and Green Stamps.
… Can you remember back that far?
It feels far enough away to be a different lifetime
… To boat neck shirts and fender skirts and crinoline petticoats
Mums the word and dirty bird and double root beer float
Moon hubcaps and loud heel taps and “he’s a real gone cat”
… Ah, do you remember that?
A few of those were all before my time, but fender skirts were a really lovely fashion. My mom was given to using the term, “Dirty bird.”
… Dancing close, little moron jokes and “cooties” in her hair
All of those, but leaving room for Jesus as mentioned before.
Captain Midnight, Ovaltine, and the whip at the county fair. Charles Atlas course, Roy Rogers’ horse, and “only The Shadow knows.”
I know about these, but they were before my time other than the Charles Atlas course which was still advertised in the backs of comic books along with x-ray glasses. I never went to a county fair until I was a middle-aged person. I knew what Ovaltine was, but we used PDQ, which was a granulated chocolate additive for milk and was delicious.
The Monkees, The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch, Batman, Jackie Gleason, Laugh In, The Smothers Brothers, Sonny & Cher, The Waltons, My Three Sons, I Love Lucy THEN The Lucy Show THEN Here’s Lucy.
… Ah, do you remember those?
A few, yes.
… Gable’s charm, “froggin” your arm, loud mufflers, pitching woo.
If this refers to Clark Gable, yes. Steve McQueen, Rock Hudson, Paul Newman, and eventually, Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford. Loud mufflers and muscle cars, and our parents pitched woo, but we did not call it that.
Going steady, Veronica and Betty, White Bucks and blue suede shoes
We still said, “Going steady” along with “Going together.” Everyone knew who Veronica and Betty were both from the comic books and the funny papers. Pat Boone were White Bucks and Elvis wore Blue Suede Shoes.
Knock, knock jokes
Who’s there?
Dewey
Dewey who?
Dewey
Remember these
Yes we do!
… Oh do we?
Do we remember these!
Did any stand out for you? The sulfar smell of a cap gun? Deadly clackers? Alphabits and Crispie Critters? Classic TV dinners and Swanson Cooking Bags? Jiffy Pop popcorn? Ayds diet supplement candies? Huge chest coolers of bottled drinks with the bottle opener on the side? Bookmobiles? Future Homemakers of America? Moon pies? That nasty Clove gum? Those little sugar button candies that came on a long strip of paper that looked like a grocery store receipt? Candy necklaces? Candy cigarettes? Bazooka Bubblegum - hard as a rock with a comic inside?
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