Keto Day #4
4 pounds down
I did not expect this would be easy. I made every effort to use weight loss resources that might make it easy and that is not my path, it seems. My body responds well to low-carb. I feel better, it functions better, and all of the systems seem to like it. My spirit, on the other hand, is having a devil of a time with it.
I will keep going because I know this is the way that works for me. I put it off to the last option, trying to find something else, but this is where we are.
This morning was the first time I’ve gone out to eat since starting Keto. As always, it was difficult to modify the standard American diner offerings to a Keto-friendly meal. My breakfast was a Farmer’s Skillet with scrambled eggs, peppers, cheddar jack cheese, ham, sausage, and bacon.
This is Eric’s skillet, plus his toast, hash browns, and tortillas.
We stopped by the grocery store to pick up salad supplies and Timber Wolf Keto Seed bread. It’s a decent substitute with 11 grams of carbohydrates per slice with 10 grams of dietary fiber, making it a total of 1 net gram per slice.
The check out line was long, so I spent a good bit of time staring these down.
…while these burned a hole in my back.
I miss potatoes and bread the most, but yeah, I feel the sugar deficit as well.
Next week will probably be easier. I’m still in the wounded, pathetic part of this. I am grateful that this is also the “whoosh” part of the process where a bit of weight comes off quickly. This is the worst of it and the rest is just a matter of endless days adding up into a string of successes.
The greatest argument against Keto (from a modern scientific perspective, not an anecdotal, knee jerk one) is that it is not sustainable and yet there are thousands of people who live and eat this way every day.
Dr. Nowzaradan from “My 600 Lb Life” puts his extreme case patients on this same diet and has done so for many years. There is a specific pathology that causes someone to be morbidly obese and to continue to eat in an unhealthy way when they want otherwise. For me, it is nothing more than the sheer pleasure of good food and the raging sugar addiction.
I do not feel that I am eating to cover any shadow issue or deep-seated emotional problem. I just truly do love so much to eat. For most of my life, I had to spend most of my time doing things I did not want to do (at all) and food was the best and most reliable treat. Sweet, savory, salty, comfort-food… it is my greatest weakness.
When I do not prop myself up with that, I surely do feel its absence. Now I am well into a sea of endless boiled eggs, salads, green beans, bacon, and steak. It’s not a horrible place to be. Just a little… colorless.
One thing I have noticed is that even though I am only four days into Keto and no sugar (at all), the pain in my knees is reduced by at least half. It is enough of a difference that I can definitely register the contrast. For years, 270 was my tipping point and if I went over that, I started to have more pain throughout my body, more difficulty breathing, and a harder time reaching important places on my body for hygiene. In the past several years, that border has dropped to 260, which is all the more reason to put as much distance between me and that threshold as I possibly can.
I am not in heavy depression (yet), but I definitely feel the burn. I keep reminding myself of all that I will be able to do and do more easily than I can now if I just keep going. I also remind myself that although there is an ultimate goal, I will feel better with every 10 pounds I lose, so there are many micro-goals as well. Ten pounds lost seems to be the demarcation where I feel extremely different even if no one else notices.
I recently heard “in 4 weeks you’ll feel it, in 8 weeks you’ll see it and in 12 weeks you’ll hear it.” (“Hear it” meaning others will see it and coment on it). I’m willing to hold out for that.
What I do know that as hard as it is now, it is not going to get any easier… only harder. This is quite literally the easiest time I will have to accomplish this huge goal. I have been blessed to accomplish everything else in my life that I set out to do and this one last ongoing failure vexes me muchly.
A recap of my upcoming milestones: I have three pounds to go until I am at my most recent lowest weight (253 in Feb 2023), which is my lowest since 2017 (when I weighed 247.6 for a hot minute). I will feel well and truly successful when I get below 200 and step into One-derland for the first time since early 1992.
